They will not listen.
I am pulling my family through the day.
My kids aren’t learning responsibility.
I say the same things over and over again, day after day.
I am weary and frustrated and tired of it all.
I hear these reflections, and many others, from Moms all the time. (I have uttered a few of them myself!) When I travel to speak, I find myself in honest conversation with parents, just like you and me, who are struggling, exhausted and feel like they are spinning their wheels.
I know those feelings well. Maybe you do, too.
Parenting our children is a big job and often we feel like what we are trying to teach our children is really not sinking in. We walk around the house at the end of the day and see socks laying about, chores undone and the leftover vestiges of a tantrum gone awry.
And we fall into bed at night knowing that tomorrow, we get to do it all again.
When I realized that my kids were only doing what we told them to do and only when we told them to do it (and this only 50% of the time), I realized we needed a change. Maybe you do, too. That was the point when I sat down to problem solve. That was the point when I created a new plan.
Because, the truth is:
~We wanted kids who took age-appropriate responsibility for things that were, indeed, their responsibility.
~We wanted kids who connected well and built life-long relationships with one another.
~We wanted a list of things that happened daily, even if we were distracted (practice instruments, put away toys/school supplies, play outside).
~We wanted to teach our kids to delay gratification and work for what they love.
~We wanted kids who learned to control their own behavior and forgo tantrums entirely.
~We wanted kids who knew how to help around the house and did so without nagging and frustration.
All in all, we wanted a home that functioned in a smoother way. We wanted to feel like what we were teaching our kids was sticking. We wanted to stop feeling like they only did what we demanded.
Know what I mean?
We found a new way; A simple and helpful and concrete way to create the family we wanted.
And that is how Sticks! was born.
So friends, if you get it, if you understand the frustration and the exhaustion and you wish it could be a little different, I am here to tell you, it can be what you hope it will be.
The Sticks! book is available on Amazon and is a quick and easy read. Maybe you choose to do what it says, maybe you just look at your parenting in a different light. Either way, hope is coming. If you feel discouraged, give it a shot and see what might work for you.
I speak on this often and will be presenting Sticks! at Hearts at Home this April in Peoria, IL, among other locations.
Take a breath, friends. That frustration is a sign that something new is coming soon. And remember, you are in such good company. There is nothing easy about this parenting road. But what you are doing matters.
You are far more important than you know.